Relationship
Potential in
the Natal Chart
Victoria Bearden
P.O. Box 1415
Solana Beach, CA 92075
(760) 634-1028
Victoria
Bearden
San Diego Astrological Society Lecture Notes
Introduction
I’ve been studying and practicing astrology for almost 20 years. Almost every client I have consulted with, married, single, straight, or gay, wanted to know about his or her love life. Some of them just wanted to hear themselves talk, some just wanted to hear me talk, and a few actually wanted to change their direction. My clients have been excellent teachers. Today I will share with you some of the things I have learned from them. Over the years I have come to truly believe that the natal chart holds the keys to who we are, what we think we want, and perhaps, what we really need.
About Myself
I have included my chart in your handout, which for an astrologer speaking to astrologers is kind of like handing out a nude portrait. But it will let you know a little about who I am and where I’m coming from.
In terms of my approach to astrology and counseling, I am definitely a double Capricorn first. So I like to present things in a way that will be practical and help people reach their goals. I also appreciate the wisdom of the ages, and tend to lean more toward that which is tried and true and based at the core on classical principles. My Cappy nature can be a little parental and bossy, not always warm and fuzzy, but serious and responsible.
My Virgo Moon in the 8th helps me intuit underlying problems quickly. Being careful not to come across overly critical, it helps me zoom in to the details of what’s not working, and of course, come up with solutions for fixing things. My 8th house lunar nature helps me relate to deep issues and use my psychic abilities quite well.
With my Scorpio MC, I really do want to help people towards transformation. And with Neptune in Scorpio, and Jupiter in Libra both up there in the 9th, I am idealistic, spiritually oriented, and compassionate. Since I’m a triple earth sign, I’ve learned to keep my feet on the ground, even though my head is sometimes up in the clouds.
Lots of Sagittarius in the 11th makes me lively, opinionated, and open-minded at the same time, and with Venus in Aquarius in the 1rst, I am fascinated with people and enjoy social exchange. So there you have it. As you can see from my Moon/Saturn square and my Rx Venus/Uranus opposition, I’ve had my more than my fair share of relationship problems. With Chiron sitting right on my Venus, I have had no choice but to continually work to solve them, and perhaps this is one of the factors in my own chart that has led me to this work.
Striving for Balance
My approach to using the natal chart as a relationship indicator is all about balance. Identifying elements in the nativity that are functioning too strongly or too weakly is useful in helping the client see where more focus is needed. Balance leads, in time, to healing. And I have seen individuals consciously work on themselves, once the out of balance areas are clear to them. This is probably a life-long task. Just like diet and exercise can help modify the body, maintaining awareness and making conscious choices can help modify a destiny. But harmony will remain in place it that way if the effort is discontinued.
I have also seen clients reach some kind of epiphany, with apparently little conscious effort, usually during a powerful, outer planet transit. It’s as if a new doorway opens to a different awareness about themselves, which can make it seem that they have changed their patterns over night, although it usually has been a long time coming.
In any case, as an astrologer, I work with my tools to help clients gain a sense of clarity and purpose through understanding. There would be little point to astrological counseling if there was no chance to modify one’s behavior and redirect life energy, even though for some individuals, it might be a lot harder than for others. So on that note, let’s look at some points that can lead to more balance.
Some Blocks and Barriers
There are many factors that contribute to our individual belief systems about relationships. And there are many levels belief that motivate our response to the world. What we have come to believe about the world and other people is largely responsible for the choices we make that in turn shapes all aspects of our reality and more specifically, creates our “relationship reality”.
Whether it’s from cellular miasmas, genetic traits passed through the clan and family, the family of origin, past lives, environment, karma, or all of the above, no man or woman is operating independently when it comes to choosing their path. There may be free will, but there is also of whole lot of input, some obvious and most not so obvious, that figures into the equation. We are both completely unique, and not terribly original at the same time. So, even though I have read for people from many different cultures and backgrounds, I can still see the similarities and the humanness. But I also know that there is a particularly strong cultural bias that crops up in San Diego that is it’s own little microcosm. I’ll try to keep things as universal as possible, but in many ways, I’ll be talking to you about the kind of people you personally know.
The group mind around these parts has created an interesting collection of reasons why relationships are difficult and don’t work that they all seem to agree upon. Unfortunately, these beliefs ultimate become an excuse for not working on the core issues that are blocking their own progress. One example of this kind of groupthink is the statement: “There just aren’t any decent, eligible men in San Diego.” You can substitute the word men, with women, gay men, gay women, whatever you want to. You can also substitute San Diego with many other cities. It’s the same idea. I always tell them that that may or may not be true, but they need to work on themselves so they won’t be a statistic. There are lots of other people bucking the odds, and they aren’t all brain surgeons and movie stars, and many of them live right her. Of course, it wouldn’t hurt to look at a locality chart for the place you are living, just in case it really is San Diego that is the problem.
I find that people have a gigantic sense of entitlement when it comes to relationships. They feel their “soul mate” is just supposed to appear, like in the movies. Although they generally wouldn’t expect a job or career or their education to just “appear”, they don’t feel they should have to work at creating a good relationship or finding an appropriate partner. It’s just supposed to happen. With a progressive attitude about relationships, astrological tools to self-awareness become a lot more effective.
Clients often ask: “When will I get married? “Will I ever get married?” “Will I ever find a good relationship?” “Why have my relationships been so bad?” “When will I get out of this terrible marriage?” They sometimes ask if they were born under a bad star, or if fate has simply conspired against their happiness. And sometimes, as astrologers know, there is obvious conflict in the natal influences that can seem to block the path to happiness. Other times, the influences are subtler and harder to identify, especially if it’s your own chart.
My favorite question is “When will this change?” usually referring to some awful recurring pattern or terrible fear or block to relationship harmony. I usually reply, “When will you change?” Not that a person should or could seek to alter their entire being or personality, but that they must change their awareness and parts of their behavior if they want to see something different in their life.
Astrology can be used as a great tool to help shift a person’s awareness. The shift in awareness and perception can lead to change, of behavior, or attitude, even of belief. My approach to astrological counseling is to promote awareness, and help people move toward healing and change.
The Basics
So, I’m going to guide you through my own thinking process when looking at a natal chart for relating clues. Of course, you all have methods and procedures you employ when analyzing a natal chart. And there are many “systems” some classical, and some more modern, that astrologers use to determine relating potential. I’m sticking to the basics. I feel a deep understanding of something simple is often worth more than a simple understanding to something complex. Anyway, it works for me.
As far as houses and angles are concerned, pay attention to the ascendant, descendant, IC, MC, 5th, 7th, and 8th houses. Of course, you’ll be looking at the sign on the cusp, planetary ruler and its placement, and any important planets conjunct any of these positions. I give planets in the 1rst and the 7th some extra points, as these planets often take center stage in the personality and relating style.
Ascendant/Descendant
Looking at the Ascendant/Descendant gives a starting point to understanding the individual’s basic orientation to the self and others. The Ascendant shows the orientation to life and the Descendant shows that which is attractive and could possible bring balance to the individual’s nature. A basically fixed orientation to life requires some of the same to be balanced. Although, it doesn’t necessarily have to come from the partner’s Ascendant/Descendant, sometimes it helps. The sign and modality occurs on the 7th house cusp does indicate an energy, in its ideal state, that would offer some benefit. If the individual with Cancer on the Descendant always finds themselves in relationship with Cancer types, but keeps finding these relationships unpleasant, it doesn’t necessarily mean Cancer is not a good sign for them.
Cardinal rising with cardinal can work, if they can get past the problem of both wanting to be boss. They are often very goal oriented as a team and can accomplish a lot in a long-term relationship.
Fixed and fixed, as you might imagine, end up together frequently, and can be quite content with one another, the major pitfall being long running, quiet power struggles and inertia in the relationship.
Mutable and mutable can get along quite well, but sometimes lack the glue to stay together very long, unless other elements in the chart are more steady.
Many harmonious couples have their ascendant/descendant flip-flopped, that is to say, one will have Capricorn rising, the other Cancer. This seems to set up a give and take balance that often works.
Many harmonious couples have the same ascendant, which seems to give them a similar perspective about life’s experiences, which seems to be comforting.
I’m going to go over the signs on the ascendant and discuss the pros and cons in terms of relating. These definitions can be juxtaposed onto angles, cusps, or planets as well. The goal is to look for signals from the client as to how they are expressing the energy. It’s usually pretty obvious.
Aries: The Aries ascendant is geared towards independence and exploration, wants to operate as an individual, does not particularly want to be concerned with others, unless leading the way, does not want to get locked into limiting situations, and generally wants to do what it wants to do. In relationships, they want to be seen as unique and important. Aries rising wants attention.
On the flip side, they are often seeking the “ideal” of beauty of harmony in a partner, someone pleasant, attractive, and adoring. A person who will not burden them with powerful, brooding emotions, and who will ultimately, let the Aries rising person take the lead in the relationship. Sex and sex appeal is important. There has to be excitement.
What The Aries rising needs is someone who is balanced and harmonious to help them with their own fiery intensity. An airy Libran temperament can fit the bill nicely, if the Aries rising person can learn to compromise occasionally, and is actually giving the airy partner enough attention and intellectual stimulation to keep things going.
What does it look like when and Aries ascendant isn’t working? Lack of commitment, lack of compromise, fighting, lack of depth, lack of continuity. In terms of partnering, the Aries rising personality needs some work to curb impulsiveness, learn to compromise. and hanging in relationships for the long haul. Aries rising doesn’t like to give up independence and resent commitment when things go bad.
Taurus The fixed nature is often supportive of relationship longevity. The pitfall might be a tendency to hang in there too long in a situation that really isn’t right.
The Taurus rising nature wants comfort, security, and routine. Food, sex, and a roof over their head can count for a lot. Taurus rising would like to be a support system to a partner, finding a partner who they can nurture. Physical sexual compatibility would be very important to this individual. Loyalty is often an attribute.
A strong, emotional, intense Scorpionic partner could be intriguing to them. A Scorpio personality could offer the kind of deep desire to merge and bond that would make life more meaningful. Taurus does not enjoy conflict, however, and if the Scorpio became too controversial or destructive, the Taurus rising personality might eventually back away from the involvement.
The Taurus rising person is more likely to stay with a relationship, even if only the basic needs are being met. One thing this rising sign needs to watch out for is setting, or not putting enough active energy into having enough choices in dating. If the Venus nature of Taurus is strongly being expressed they might end up being a bit passive in a relationship. But Taurus rising, although perhaps devoid of lots of fireworks in their outer expression, has some qualities that can bring much stability and fulfillment to a marriage or partnership. But they need to be with somebody who can appreciate them.
Taurus rising when run amuck could be too focused on the material, and not in tune with deeper, more psycho/spiritual issues.
Gemini: Gemini rising has a unique challenge in relationships that has to do with stimulation. With a Gemini orientation to life, relationships must be fascinating, mentally exciting, open, and not static. Being sociable and curious, marriage or a long-term exclusive partnership might not seem that intriguing until later in life, if that. They can quickly fall for someone who is intelligent and exciting, but lose interest just as rapidly if things get too serious. They tend to like someone who keeps them guessing. Being altogether grown up and taking responsibility for the welfare of others is not a Gemini rising persons first order of business.
A fiery adventurous mate like a Sagittarius might be instantly attractive, but the Gemini rising might fail to deliver the kind of passion fire is looking for. And they may also lack the patience for long, intellectual conversation. Many Gemini rising people are addicted to talk, and ultimately need to find a partner who both likes to talk and probably enjoys a lot of listening as well. Otherwise, the Gemini rising person is likely to spend a lot of time on the phone or on the internet, talking to other more likely candidates behind their partner’s back. They may be attracted to fire, but definitely need lots of air in their partner as well, to keep them interested.
Gemini rising often seems to stay single longer, and more often than other rising signs, and definitely has to do some stretching to stay put in a relationship over the test of time, unless other factors in the chart are dominant.
Cancer: I know, you’ve all heard the line about the sensitive interior under the hard shell, and to a certain extent, it’s true. They do tend to be moody, emotional, enigmatic, nurturing, parental, needy, clingy, and all that. Cancer rising in particular really does want someone to love and be close to. But when they feel they have been hurt, it they often close off a part of themselves, sometimes for a very long time.
Intuition and feeling is guiding them through life. They tend to absorb the feelings and ideas of others, hence, can be influenced strongly by those they contact frequently. Without the electrical current of caring plugged into the wall socket of their need, they are truly out of touch with their source. Cancer wants a connection.
Divorced people with Cancer rising can sometimes go it alone as long as their kids are still in the home. The kids become the primary relationship. The Capricorn Descendant can indicate a need for a partner who is structured, reliable, and practical, but unless there is obvious expression of feeling and caring, the relationship may not last.
Cancer rising when it is not functioning well can seem dependent, moody, overly emotional, overly nurturing, super-sensitive, not verbally expressive of difficult feelings, and a glutton for punishment.
Cancer rinsing when balanced is a sensitive caretaker, responsive, enjoys closeness, and can help create a warm, loving environment.
Leo Rising: The best case scenario with this Ascendant is a person who really can be the beneficent king or queen of their own world. They usually have a lot to offer, but want respect and admiration in return.
A Libra ascendant person, conversely, is actively aware that people around them matter and want to create a positive vision of relationship in their lives. Occasionally the Libra rising person may get a little too caught up in how things appear to others, and not look at the deeper issues and problems if the surface of a relationship looks appropriate. Keeping the peace, communicating, and relating are big personality factors, and the Libra agenda has much to do with interacting. And they want a partner who is dynamic and wants to take charge. Not that Libra wants to be dominated, it doesn’t. But it would like a strong and active partner with opinions that it can add to, edit, and refine.
The Libra rising personality is probably better suited in some ways to maintaining harmony, balancing giving and receiving, and finding common ground. They are more likely to settle for something that is not quite right, rather than be alone.
The Scorpio
ascendant personality actively seeks depth and intensity in relationships.
Although the strong steady Taurus nature might be perfect to give
them the security and stability they require, the practical, routine,
sometimes unexpressive Taurus might not offer the sense of drama and
intensity of feeling that is a Scorpio mainstay. Unlike Taurus, Scorpio
rising might enjoy a good fight once in a while, just to make sure
the partner really cares.
The Scorpio ascendant is a bit more problematic. Their sense of need is significant. The urge to overpower a potential partner may cause problems, and the possibility of being attracted to Plutonian types of relationships can definitely be tough. Manipulation and deceit are not out of the question when Scorpio is out of balance. Scorpio rising often must go through some significant struggle, drama, and major endings before they make peace with their own inner nature. Once Scorpio rising has faced their demons, they have much to offer a partner, and could be the catalyst for great changes and growth for the other person and the relationship. Scorpio rising, when in trouble may seem controlling, brooding, tied to the past and addicted to struggle.
|
